I’ve always wanted to be invisible, but I’ve had to settle for other things my whole life. Like, for example, wearing camouflage pants and going to the park. People just don’t look at you as much, which is kind of like invisibility. I made sure I got the corner cubicle at work and I do exactly the right amount of work without being an overachiever, which makes me invisible at work. At family gatherings, I usually attach myself to the liveliest conversation (that’s always Aunt Delilah) so I never have to contribute a thing.

There’s all kinds of interesting ways to do things, and the latest innovation I’ve thought of around the home is window tinting. It’s true; windows are a silly invention that let the whole world snoop in on your business. Fortunately, there are companies in Melbourne that do commercial window tinting, so that makes you more invisible to a degree. After all, what is the definition of invisibility, anyway? It is ‘the state of an object that cannot be seen’. Strong window tinting renders you and everything in your space in that state, so it definitely counts. People might know there are things beyond the tinted windows, but they don’t know WHAT. I quite like the idea of standing behind my tinted windows, coffee in hand, staring out at a world that knows not of my presence. I will have achieved the ability to view the world without being viewed myself, which is the main point of invisibility.

Of course, I can’t freely move around the world, but that’s of little consequence. I like my own company anyway. And next…I need to look into frosted window glass. That’s essentially the same concept, but more stylish and artistic. Perhaps something to consider for the conference room windows.

-Blank