If I was going to discover the mysteries of this new Bald Rick in my life, I would need to find myself a George. You see, with every good Black-Viper comes both a Bald Rick and a George. If I could find myself a foolish George, perhaps he would be able to convince Bald Rick to say the words, “I have a cunning plan”.

When you put a George and a Bald Rick together, bad things tend to happen. I’m not sure why my ancestors let the two of them associate with one another, but it seems to be Black-Viper tradition. Who am I to defy the ways of my ancestors? I’m sure it will work out.

In order to find my George, I put up a notice at the local shopping centre. George required for a glass repair business near Melbourne. Since then, I’ve had about ten people apply to help us fix our glass, although none of them is actually named George. As a result, I changed the ad to specify that the applicant must be named George, and they must have British ancestors, including one who was King George III. 

Since then, I haven’t had any applicants at all. I’m starting to think that it might be harder to find a George than I was expecting. It’s not like I’m going to have a George proficient in glass balustrade repairs from Melbourne walk right through my door. Oh, it’s hopeless. Perhaps I should consider asking that Bob fellow to repair my glass. He seemed like a nice, strong chap. Do I take a risk there and hope that Bob could get Bald Rick to admit that he has a cunning plan?

What if this Bald Rick isn’t actually descended from the Bald Ricks who associated with my ancestors? Could it be that he is a fraud, and that is why he will not say the words “I have a cunning plan?”. I will have to look into it more.

– Edward Black-Viper V