One of the weird things about growing up is learning the limitations of your parents you never knew existed. As a kid, you just assume they’re superhuman, that they know everything, have done everything, are the supreme intelligent being of the universe. Then you grow and realise that they’re just … not. That they’re human. That they have flaws and things they’ve never done. That they have gaping holes of knowledge you stumble across as you’re just going about your own quest for knowledge.

A while ago, I had an experience like that. It was my birthday, and my mum had organised for me to have my party at one of the many birthday party venues Melbourne has to offer. I know, it’s a pretty kiddish thing to do, and I’ve almost outgrown it, but I really like doing that kind of thing. Besides, this was I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing – it was all out of my hands.

What I didn’t realise, though, was that behind the scenes there’d been a pretty fierce argument going on between mum and dad. Dad’s always been a pretty hands on kind of parent, always doing things with me instead of keeping mum company watching from the sidelines. His commitment to always being involved in whatever I was doing, then, was what made him so mad at mum when he found out I was having my birthday party at an ice skating rink. Of course, I didn’t know any of this until we actually got there and it turned out my dad didn’t know how to ice skate.

I just assumed my dad knew how to do everything, and I guess that was probably one of those moments were a little bit of the illusion around him shattered – or if not shattered, then cracked a little bit. It wasn’t just that he couldn’t skate, it was that he was too embarrassed to learn, on the day, with the rest of us. Our relationship changed that day in a way I didn’t think anyone could have forsen.