“Just because you’re a computer programmer doesn’t mean you know how to fix appliances!” This is what I said to my husband who thinks he’s some sort of jack of all trades. He’s gotten himself into so much trouble in the past by thinking he can do anything. I mean, for a while he was trying to brew his own beer in the garage, and caused an explosion that ruined my beautiful car’s paint job! And then there was the time when he tried to homeschool our seven-year-old daughter about the solar system, but when she got to school she failed her science test because she included Pluto. Men can be so arrogant sometimes. They think they know everything.

Now that our oven and stovetop unit needs a service, Max has pulled out his tool box and buried his head in the back of the darn thing. I told him to get out of the way, leave it to the professionals, because after he’s through with it, we’re going to need the most expensive Bosch oven repairs Sydney has to offer.

“Let it go, Max. You’re doing more harm than good!” I shouted.

God help us if he succeeds in fixing it. Then he’ll be even more big-headed and think he can service everything around the house. Our Fisher and Paykel dishwasher cost us an arm and a leg, and I don’t want him messing around with that one too. Hopefully we won’t be needing any Fisher and Paykel dishwasher repairs in Sydney, not now and not ever.

It’s pretty embarrassing having a husband who’s more or less a crackpot. My friends like to have a laugh about it when they come over for a coffee and there’ll be this crash and clatter down in the basement. Sometimes they’ll make a joke about it, other times they’ll pretend they didn’t hear while their lip curls up into a poorly disguised smirk.